The Spirit Whisperer

May 6, 2010

St. Louis

•••••

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Are you or someone you know a ‘chronic worrier?’ Worry can have a negative impact on your physical and emotional life, which if left untreated, can cause distress and upset. At some point in our lives, we will all experience worry, but for some of us, it’s often more of a daily occurrence. Worry is a destroyer of the soul. If unchecked, it results in great anxiety and can lead to mental illness. Worriers are the most ingenious people in the world. When every possible source of worry is removed, it’s more than likely that they’ll immediately invent some new cause to worry.

There are a number of tools at your disposal that you can use to prevent worry from having a crippling and suffocating affect on your life. One of them is to keep busy. When you’re busy, you literally don’t have time to worry. People with too much time on their hands will often spend that time worrying, sitting there going over and over a problem or situation, figuring out every possible outcome and scenario! So, if you’re a born worrier, try to identify those times when you catch yourself worrying most, and rather than sit there, try and find something to occupy your time and get busy! I know this sounds all too easy, but for many hardened worriers, it’s very much a work in progress

I’m a great believer in using your journal, so if you’re prone to worrying, try to journal your thoughts for a few weeks. Identify those times (and places) when you find yourself worrying and see what sets it off. Analyze it and examine it from every aspect. Keep track of how often it occurs. As I travel so much, I carry around my pocket recorder, which is a great little device. I use it to record notes to myself that I often transcribe later.

Remember this process is NOT about you avoiding the issues but trying to change your mental programming. I want you to see that by identifying the causes of worry, you can start to eradicate it, and by doing so, you’ll stop feeding it. The less you feed it, the less it gets exercised, the weaker it becomes and by the very nature of lack of exposure, it will diminish and lose it’s intensity. The net result will be that you’ll just worry less.

So, you have to find alternative things to do during those critical worry times. Shake things up. Change your routine around. For example, if you find that one of the key times you worry is when you get home from work, use that time to start a new ‘personal’ project, something that will occupy and challenge your mind. Is there an evening class or workshop you’ve always wanted to take, one that would enhance your job or homelife, or maybe just do something completely different?

Equally, be your own spiritual coach and support yourself with positive affirmations, eat a healthy balanced diet, exercise, or join a gym. It’s important to get out of the house and connect your soul with nature as often as you can.

By being productively busy, it can lead to increased happiness as you achieve more and worry less. Imagine how you’re going to feel when you’re using your time more effectively, worrying less, relaxing more, and at the same time advancing your career, and surpassing what you thought possible. The whole process has a ripple affect, as your family, friends, and co-workers see and feel the change in you and start emulating your positive actions and integrating them into their lives. Everybody wins!

Rearranging The Mental Landscape

When it comes to worrying, it’s almost impossible to come up with blanket advice that suits everyone. People are affected by worry in different ways, whether it’s worrying about your personal appearance, the health of your parents, your financial stability, or if you are in the habit of worrying for others. There’s no one-way to heal, avoid or cure worry, regardless of the circumstances. Some people may even need therapy or counseling, but it’s healthy to take a look at your life from time to time, and try some basic cognitive restructuring. There are a few simple steps that you can take. This exercise, which I call Rearranging Your Mental Landscape, is a neat way of helping to manage your worrying habits. I hope it will help some of you.

***
Start off by making a list of what you worry about the most. Identify what you think about when you worry. Try to listen to the internal dialogue and what you’re saying to yourself. Keep a note of these thoughts. Allow yourself only so much time to worry and try to move on. Be really strict with yourself.

***

Once you’ve got into the routine of journaling your worry thoughts, take the notes and spend some time analyzing each thought. What’s the evidence for the thought? Is it likely to happen? Has it ever happened before? Finally, is there any logic or reason to believe that it will ever happen? Unless it really serves some useful purpose in your life – as opposed to the potential harm it might cause, then you can just cross it off the list with a big red pen!

***

If you were unable to strike it off your list, then ask yourself: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Plan out how you’d handle it. What actions could you take to minimize the affect? Write down what you need to do. By doing so, you’ll find you won’t need to worry, as you already have the response mechanism in place.

***

As you keep your journal of these worries and the possible actions you might take, try to write them in two columns so the new thoughts form a positive outcome.

***

When you worry, it quite natural to imagine the worst thing that could happen. The last part of this exercise is that I want you to imagine the best thing that could happen. Try turning it around!

***

Meditate and practice the “Relaxing the Body Meditation,” which can be found in my book ‘Power of the Soul’ and begin to talk to your higher-self and ask if there’s another way that you can let go of this worry or concern. Be open and ask if there’s some other advice that you need to hear at this time?

As you start making subtle changes in the way you think, how much you worry, or what you worry about, remember this: Any change you attempt to make will only be temporary, unless you own that change yourself. No one else can make it happen for you, only you! You have to be responsible for your own change. Believing that you should change is not enough. You have to say to yourself that you must change – that you can change.

Live a Soul-Filled Life!